Diary of a Demented Store Owner

Thursday 15 May 2008

Study of Einstein's Brain Reveals Source of Genius was Acid


Neurologists studying samples of Albert Einstein’s brain discovered a pocket containing a high concentration of FIG GrasFlux, a flux with a high concentration of hydrofluoric acid, commonly used in the stained glass industry, “Now we finally know how he came up with such brilliant concepts such as relativity. For all these years we thought the root of his genius may have been caused by some unique psychological characteristic of his brain and now it turns out all those years, he was just goofing around making teddy bear nightlights", said researcher Mikey Figgy. The discovery that the challenging, original and profound thoughts of one of the most brilliant minds of the 20th century may have emanated as a result of the recreational pursuit of stained glass is being met with considerable controversy amongst Einstein scholars. Biographer Gary Beige disputes the findings. “First we had to disprove the claim that he was a customer of The Acme Stained Glass Supply Co. Now we have to admit that he bought all his supplies exclusively, including FIG GrasFlux, at Fantasy In Glass, not only the biggest and best stained glass supplier in the world, but the smartest as well. "Acid shmacid, Albert was a helluva thinker, period,” he said. “And a heck of a solderer, too” added Mikey.

1 comment:

FusedLight said...

Oh great, now you dig up comments from the OTHER side, the BEIGE side, of the family. We've (as in the BROWN side of the family) been trying to distance ourselves from the BEIGE side of the family for years. What do they know about Al, anyway??? Their name, "Beige", says it all. Given a choice between a nice BE001122 and BE000137 they are ALWAYS going to take the 137. So, now they don't believe that Al got his insights because he saw inspiring colours??? Al was all about the speed of light. And what effects the speed of light? The COLOUR of material it goes through. The more intense the colour, the bigger the detected speed-of-light change (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phase_velocity).

And where in the world would Al have gotten the best glass?? In a word, FIG. Of course, this DOES present a bit of a space-time-continuum issue. But, hey, if your Al you figure that stuff out, make your trip into any time-space co-ordinate you want, pick up a load of BE001320 and BE001332 and be on your way.

BEIGE is a wimp (not to be confused with a WIMP), and make no mistake about it!

G. BROWN