Diary of a Demented Store Owner

Thursday, 31 December 2009

Human Genome Project Finds Mutated Gene That May Explain Baffling Fondness For Stained Glass


ETOBICOKE, ON- As the first phase of the mapping of human DNA comes to a completion, a preliminary draft reveals the discovery of a mutated gene that may explain the baffling popularity of stained glass.
“The loud, repetitive pattern of sound that a Toyo Tap cutter imparts as it glides across a sheet of Spectrum opal seems to trigger a favourable response in the brain that goes counter to our understanding of what we normally consider pleasurable stimulus. We believe it’s caused by a gene mutation we sequenced,” said Zenja Chaboosky, a lowly research assistant at McMuster University involved with the project. The gene theory was met with relief by noted stained glass store owner Mikey in Toronto. “I’ve been puzzled for years. This may finally be the answer,” he said
... and a Happy New Year to you all!

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

The Free Stained Glass News #88 Now In

HERE'S A PREVIEW

In SGN #88, you'll find:

• new items, including: pattern books, new components for Creator's tools, fusing molds, a fusing kiln, lantern bases, some new glass and fusible frit.
• reader hints, a reader's workshop and more on "The Readers' Page"
Randy's Help Desk Randy Wardell—Randy talks about "flexible rebar" and answers a reader's question about working with bevels.

Mosaics & Stepping Stones Julie Bishop-Day—Julie talks about the "nuts and bolts" of mosaics.
Fire it Up! Susan Molnar—Susan addresses kiln maintenance, talks a little about fusing and slumping molds, and offers advice on drilling holes in glass.
SGN Classic Column Carolyn Kyle—Design it Your Way, Part 4—What makes a "Good" pattern?
• this issue's Free Pattern: Winter Blues
• a page of photos from readers in The Readers' Gallery
• and more…

Saturday, 26 December 2009

Unflattering Picture of Zenia Means...

... it's time for our next set of sales. Now posted here, see our Boxing Week Sales, and remember our December Monthly Sales are still on (see them here), including some amazing prices such as Taurus 3 Ringsaws at only $411.11.

Thursday, 24 December 2009

Happy Christmas!

All the best to you all from Mikey, and the staff at Fantasy In Glass!

Friday Dec. 25.................CLOSED! YIPPY!
Saturday Dec. 26............. CLOSED! YIPPY!
Sunday Dec. 27............... CLOSED! YIPPY!
Monday Dec. 28.............. CLOSED! YIPPY!
Tuesday Dec. 29.............10:00am- 4:00pm
Wednesday Dec. 30........ 10:00am- 4:00pm
Thursday Dec. 31........... 10:00am- 2:00pm
Friday Jan. 1...................CLOSED! YIPPY!
Saturday Jan. 2............. 10:00am- 4:00pm

Saturday, 19 December 2009

Peace and Lead, Peace and Lead


The investigative staff of Fantasy In Glass' acclaimed journal The FigLeafLet has concrete proof of the demise of Paul McCartney, affirming rumours heard throughout the Sixties. We have documentation proving that he was replaced by an associate- someone with even less talent than the real Paul McCartney (send letters care of Ed, 703 The Queensway, T.O.).Apparently, it was John Lennon's wish to announce the change in the Beatle's lineup with the release of what was to become their last studio recording originally entitled Gary's Pound of Brown after Gary Brown, stained glass instructor to the music industry's rock stars. It seems John, along with George, Paul and Ringo had become disillusioned with the Maharishi and his teachings on transcendental meditation, and looked to stained glass in their quest to find inner peace, harmony and inspiration. It was during the recording sessions for this album that Paul met his unfortunate death when a truck's delivery of lead shifted and came crashing through the bathroom window onto Paul while he was indisposed.
John wrote 'She Came In Through the Bathroom Window and Carry That Weight in memory of this tragic event.
With the imminent release of the now renamed Abbey Road, the need to replace Paul became apparent. Searching no further than their fellow stained glass students a young lad of small frame and poor complexion was chosen, it seems not for his resemblance to Paul, but for his skill at cutting compound angles in flat 1/4" lead. Going by the name of Mikey, his lack of songwriting skills (as Paul) (send letters care of Ed, 703 The Queensway…) were immaterial to the remaining group members.
It was at this exact moment that Ringo first coined his famous phrase- “Peace and Lead, Peace and Lead” (see photos above).

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Employee of the Month Sad It's Already the 15th


Toronto, ON- Stan Damian, a housewears department shelf stocker and occassional cashier at Acme Glass, expressed sadness Wednesday over the rapidly approaching end to his reign as Employee of the Month. Fellow employees didn't have the heart to tell Mr. Davisdunn his reign had actually ended two years ago.

Friday, 11 December 2009

It Only Took Gwen Fifteen Years!

But she persevered and with Theresa's help during the Friday Intermediate Class, she finally got it done.
Mikey's still waiting for her Tuna Casserole recipe...

Christmas Hours

Thursday Dec. 24..........10:00am- 2:00pm
Friday Dec. 25.................CLOSED! YIPPY!
Saturday Dec. 26........... CLOSED! YIPPY!
Sunday Dec. 27.............. CLOSED! YIPPY!
Monday Dec. 28............. CLOSED! YIPPY!
Tuesday Dec. 29........... .10:00am- 4:00pm
Wednesday Dec. 30....... 10:00am- 4:00pm
Thursday Dec. 31........... 10:00am- 2:00pm
Friday Jan. 1......................CLOSED! YIPPY!
Saturday Jan. 2.............. 10:00am- 4:00pm

Thursday, 3 December 2009

Help Santa Do His Job!


Go here to get a copy of your own helpful Christmas Wish List. Stick it under someone's pillow, and if they don't take heed, print off a second copy to stick somewhere else!
... and look for us on Twitter...

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Monthly Sale for December Now Up


Our sales of Bullseye have dropped so fast recently that an On-Star operator called us yesterday and asked if we’d been in a collision.

To kick start sales of this great, comprehensive line of glass and a bunch of other stuff as is the monthly tradition around here see this month's sale here. (refresh your screen if it doesn't come up)

Of course, another tradition is posting an embarrassing or unflattering pic of Zenia to announce our monthly sale.